35 Things I've learned in my lifetime

I borrowed this from a father who was passing down life's knowledge to his son when it was time for the son to head off to college. I think it expresses some exceedingly valuable ideas. I know there are still several years before it is time for you to go to college, but from my point of view there could never be enough of them. I always love you son.




35 Things I have learned in my lifetime,
In no particular order.



1) You’re likely to meet your future wife in the coming 4 years. Choose wisely. If she’s anything like your Mom, don’t let her go. They simply don’t come any better than that.

2) Call your Mom regularly. It’s something that will make her very happy. Make her happy by calling her, even if it’s just to say hello.

3) Email us both – it’s a way of honoring your parents.

4) I don’t know it all… and when I think I do I find out how little I really do know.

5) When things seem to be really bad, they usually aren’t… just wait a little while, it’ll get better. Trust me. Better yet, trust God.

6) Christians will let you down. It’s a fact of life. Christ won’t. It may seem so at times, but it’ll get better.

7) You’re likely not going to have the desire to find a decent church. Remember that you are the church, it’s not necessarily a building. God is with you at all times. Talk to Him. Develop that as a habit. Prayer doesn’t have to be with eyes closed and hands clasped. Thinking thoughts directed at Him are prayer. Pray often.

8) Organized religion is a mess. This does not however diminish your need for God.

9) You will be tempted like you’ve never been tempted before. It takes character, lots of it, to not succumb. You have a very large reservoir of character. Don’t forget it. Tap into it at every turn.

10) Following the leader without asking questions is usually followed by trouble. Be a leader. It’s harder yes, but it’s more rewarding and much less likely to get you into trouble that you have no control over.

11) You will occasionally (sometimes more than occasionally) have to do things you don’t want to do. Just don’t let it become a career.

12) You’ll face many decisions in the coming months, even years. Think through them. Acting without thinking usually ends badly.

13) I’ve found that doing things just for the money has short-term benefits. You’ll have more money. That’s it. I’ve also found that the contentment is short-lived. If you’re going to do something for a long period of time, your heart has to be in it. Or you’re going to be miserable.

14) Working hard sometimes seems futile. Be persistent in your hard work. It does pay off in the long haul.

15) Don’t cut corners or take short cuts in your work or in your studies. Don’t just do that which is easy. Try hard. Do that which is hard. It does eventually get noticed and does produce results.

16) Sitting near the front in class is likely to help you pay attention. Sitting in the back has the opposite effect. Sit wisely.

17) Read, read, read. New stuff. Old stuff. All kinds of stuff. The more you read, the better prepared you’ll be, the better you’ll be able to communicate, the better you’ll do in school (and in life).

18) True independence is achieved when you’re no longer dependent on anyone else. Seems logical right? But remember that we’ll always depend on God.

19) Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. I was paralyzed for too long because I didn’t want to screw up. I’ve learned since that I learn best from my mistakes. This can be painful but usually only in the short term. No pain, no gain.

20) Alcohol can kill you. Either quickly (binge drinking) or slowly (alcoholism). Kirsch’s (your band teacher’s) advice is good. Moderation is key. And drinking alone is usually an indication of trouble.

21) You come from a conservative family. Your values are largely conservative. Those values will be under attack at school, by your professors, by fellow students. Think with an open mind but not so open that your brain falls out. Liberalism can be trouble. It’s good to hear the opposing perspective. It’s better to read those who can defend the conservative perspective. They’re out there but you have to look for them. Have liberal friends however. They keep you sharp.

22) Beware of pop culture. It’s faddish and shallow.

23) When things aren’t going well in a relationship, ask yourself if you’re really listening to the other person. I’m a lousy listener… not just hearing someone but listening… hearing has to do with noise, listening has to do with understanding. You can hear without listening.

24) Words are killers. I’ve ‘killed’ with my words. Choose them wisely. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can’t get it back in. Think before speaking. I tend to speak before thinking. And it’s hurt people, it’s hurt me. That’s trouble.

25) Older people aren’t anywhere near as stupid as younger people make them out to be. Unfortunately, you’re usually an older person before you figure that out. Figure it out now. And seek wisdom from older people. Experience is the best teacher. Yes, that’s a cliché, but it’s a good one.

26) Life’s too short to stay mad at family and friends. You never know when your words to someone may be the last one’s you have with them. That terrifies me sometimes. And it should.

27) Breaking them down into easily handled pieces best solves big problems. How do you eat an elephant? Piece by piece. Don’t be intimidated by the magnitude. Think through the problem, break it down, plan an action and implement the plan. And remember number 19.

28) Keep a journal. Commit to this task. It’s amazing to go back and read something you’ve written some time ago. You’ll learn more about yourself.

29) Eat right. Lots of fruit and vegetables. Avoid what happens to many college kids who gain weight big-time their first and second years away from home.

30) Exercise regularly. It’s easier now to make it a habit than it will be when you’re older. Trust me on this.

31) Sometimes, the best thing to do or say in a situation, is absolutely nothing. I continue to have problems with this yet I do believe it’s true.

32) Experience is enhanced when that experience is shared with someone you care about. Whether it’s a sunset, a hike, or a good movie.

33) Sending Mom a card or an e-mail on her birthday would warm her heart. Figure out a way to remind yourself of other people’s birthdays.

34) Money in hand is money easily spent. Put yourself on a budget. Purposely make it inconvenient to get more cash. You’d be surprised how easily money disappears from your wallet.

35) Budget your time. Prioritize where it’s spent. Time can be spent faster than money can. And it can be wasted just as much as money can. And in my view, time is more precious than money. We have precious few days on this earth.

This Age

You know son, this age is such a precious age. Grabbing your ankles, exploring your feet. Playing with various toys as they catch your attention. Your diaper is like all over the place and stuff, and you just want to play. On the one hand I so can not wait until you have a child at this age that you are now because I want to share with you the great joys and thrills that come along with it. On the other hand I so wish that I could keep you right here at this age at this point in time for an infinite amount of time. Your flexibility far surpasses that of both of your parents, combined! Hell son, I am not sure I can even grab your mothers ankles at this point, even if she was sitting back in a lounge chair. Your well over 13 lbs. at this point and growing so fast. Your motor skills are quickly developing and wow son, I just really hope that when you are much much older and looking back on all of these posts that I have placed here for you, well I hope that you will understand just how much love was placed into the creation of each one. I hope greatly that you will understand how much love was placed into each day of your existence. Even more so, I hope with all of my heart that you, and you will, get the chance to express such a love towards your family, your wife, and your son as has been given to me, this wonderful experience that is Fatherhood, Parenthood. My son, while you are young take it slow and enjoy each day, as you are a young adult take it slow and consider each move carefully, and as you are father take it slow enjoying each day to its maximum potential. Then, when you are older, much much older, take it slow and advise the generations to come to do the same. For as you will undoubtedly find, there are but few days in a man's existence and each one of them, even the seemingly bad few, are great treasures that once spent can never be regained.

A man can work hard, make money and then waste it all. If he works hard he can gain it all back again. But if a man wastes all of his time, there is no getting that back.